The process of finding love after divorce or losing a spouse itself can be complicated, but for single parents, it also comes with dramatic dilemmas and difficult conversations.
A survey by Indian matchmaking app Rebounce shows that while single parents don’t necessarily find their children as an obstacle to romance, their romantic choices and decisions are heavily influenced by their children’s acceptance and opinions.
Nearly 47 per cent of single mothers and single fathers in the survey shared that kids might not be directly involved in the matchmaking process. Still, their presence quietly shapes who they choose, how they handle their love life, and whether they allow themselves to embrace love completely.
The study was conducted among 8576 single parents seeking a second chance at love after divorce or the loss of a spouse. Participants ranged in age between 28 and 50, and came from metros, suburbs, and smaller Indian cities. The survey shows that single parents carry emotional responsibilities that are rarely discussed.
The app’s founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, added, “They don’t just balance love and parenting. It’s more like a constant emotional negotiation, whether it is okay to have a personal life of their own, whether their love for someone else will take away from their love for their children. Every single decision goes through multiple checkpoints. For single parents, it’s not just about finding the right person for themselves; it’s also about finding the right ecosystem that’s safe, stable, and sustainable for their children as well as themselves.”
Will my happiness disrupt their stability?
One of the most significant findings of the survey remains how single parents fear that their happiness might disrupt the stability they have worked so hard to create around their children. The survey says 51 per cent of single mothers and 48 per cent of single dads revealed they have, at least once, given up on a promising connection because the timing was not great for their children or they were worried introducing a new person might create an imbalance in their set routine. What’s more interesting is that 7 out of 10 parents disclosed that the reaction is not triggered by resistance from their children, but rather a hidden fear rooted deep in themselves. However, 33 per cent of single parents from metros and suburbs said they also pick up on subtle cues in their kids, like if they go quiet, or ask more questions about their whereabouts, and reconsider their romantic decisions. Many also admitted that they have often overanalysed harmless reactions as well.
Habit of personality editing
The study uncovered one lesser-known trend among the single parents looking for love: they unintentionally “edit” themselves. Nearly 49 per cent of the participants between 30 and 45 years of age shared that they sometimes unknowingly suppress parts of their personality from a match because they no longer see themselves as just an individual, but a representative of their family. Ragini (35) from Mumbai said, “Since I am a single mom, I tend to match with single dads only because we’ll probably understand the situation better. So, I have noticed that I fear coming off too spontaneous or adventurous while interacting with them, in case they think that I am an irresponsible mom or that connecting with me might be bad for their child. It’s very unintentional and honestly, I know no one will think that way, but this is something that many single parents do.”
Happiness also brings guilt
The survey says 41 per cent of single parents from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities said that guilt peaks during the happiest moments of their love lives. 6 out of 10 of them said they fear their children might assume that their other parent is being deliberately substituted by this new person. While 36 per cent of the participants explained that prioritising their own happiness can feel selfish as a parent, and fear that their love and care for their child might be affected. 4734 respondents revealed that they downplay their excitement to ensure that their kids don’t feel “replaced”.
Do children influence single parents' relationships? New survey reveals more
