Divorced, separated, and widowed individuals are finally breaking free of the societal pressure of living in the past and choosing to give love and life a second chance. However, for single parents, the weight of responsibility is maintaining the perfect balance and setting a routine in their child’s life. They are rebuilding a life that already has its own rhythm, emotional boundaries, family expectations and its own priorities.
Unlike first-time daters and second-chance seekers who are child-free, single parents’ choices in love are rarely driven by chemistry and butterflies alone. They are shaped by practicality and emotional responsibilities, and are silently yet heavily influenced by their children.
A recent study by Indian matchmaking app Rebounce has found that single parents are changing the way relationships look. Instead of someone who fits the perfect romantic narrative, they are looking for a partner who can naturally fit into their life without either party having to compromise on their lifestyle.
The app’s founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, commented, “Single parents are not looking for a rescuer; they know how to rebuild their life even without a partner. What we have understood from observing our users is that they want a partner who is understanding and does not demand to be their priority from the outset; a partner who understands that for a parent, their children will always come first. The concept of remarriage for them is less about starting over and more about growing stronger together.”
The survey was conducted among 7659 single parents on the app from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities, between the ages of 30 and 45. The findings show that these singles are a lot more detailed in their preferences for a partner than child-free users.
Compatible parenting style
Over 50 per cent of single parents from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities shared that they care more about parenting style compatibility than chemistry. Important questions like how they handle disagreement with children, whether they will respect each other’s parenting style in case there are some differences, and more are discussed early in the interaction. These subjects are more important to a single parent seeking love than matching hobbies and shared interests. Avneet (33), a mother of a 5-year-old, explains, “I am not saying that I don’t care if I have chemistry with a match; what I want people to understand is that during the initial days, everyone has chemistry. But parenting conflict is permanent. That needs to be understood first. At least I definitely do that before emotionally investing in a match.”
Not just children, extended families shape choices too
Single parents are slowly opening up about their children’s influence on their matching style, but the recent survey sheds light on another quiet challenge for these singles: the extended families. Unlike child-free divorced, separated, and widowed individuals, almost 5630 single parents revealed that they are bound to stay in touch with their ex’s side of the family for their child’s sake. They disclosed that former in-laws, older relatives, and extended families tend to create emotional pressure against remarriage. Abhay, a single dad from Pune, says, “Kids adapt, especially when there’s open and honest communication between a parent and kids. But the people who carry taboos and values that are against remarriage or love, in general, are much harder to convince.”
Respect the rhythm
About 42 per cent of single parents over 35 years of age say they specifically connect and move things forward with matches who respect the existing rhythm of their lives and understand the importance of the same for a child’s mental health. The survey found that 7 out of 10 single mothers explained that men who are flexible around their existing routine and handle frequently cancelled plans with calmness and understanding are far more desirable than those who focus only on surprises and grand gestures of romance. While the latter is appreciated, as a parent, grand gestures are not always a welcome surprise, especially if they disrupt their child’s routine. For instance, Malini (36) said, “I have a 12 year old child. Suddenly, if my partner plans a romantic getaway or even a date, I won’t be able to accommodate that into my kid’s schedule. A match who understands and respects that is who I would want to associate with; or else it would not be fair to them or me.”
